Decisions From Possibility

GrettaMay 16, 2020

How to make decisions for the future you want

Why is it so hard to make decisions for ourselves that we’ve never made before? ⁣These are decisions that I would classify as "new decisions."

These can be anything from deciding to start exercising when you’ve never lifted weights in your adult life, deciding to use a calendar when you’ve never planned out a day in your life, or even deciding to follow a budget even though you don’t have a clue where to start. Or, investing in that course or that coach.  All of these decisions feel really daunting and our immediate reaction is to say 'no.' Why?

We make decisions and we decide what’s right and what’s wrong. What’s “right” or “wrong” is based off of our belief systems from the past. Our brain looks to our past results to see what’s possible for us in the future. If it's something we've never done our brain clams up and says no. way. Not possible. Never done it before.  Not interested! But why?

⁣Our brain doesn’t like to create new thinking because new thinking, according to our lower brain, is hard and dangerous. Our lower brain really likes to be efficient. Thinking the same thoughts = efficient. A great example of this is: think back to a time you started a new job or took a class in school that was really challenging. You were probably very focused, grasping to make sense of things and at the end of the day - very tired.⁣ That’s because it requires new thinking.

When you go to make a new decision - ESPECIALLY one that you’ve never made before AND it involves money, time, effort and adopting a new identity, your lower brain is like lol no. This is definitely not a good decision. But the other part of your brain - the higher level, conscious brain that is thinking in possibility is saying YES. ⁣

⁣Here’s where the pain comes in. In order to get new results you have to think new thoughts and make decisions from possibility, not from your past. Meaning you literally have to override your lower brain’s very well-worn way of thinking with your conscious brain to get to the new decision. ⁣Your lower brain will be telling you NO WAY. The whole time while you're considering your new decision AND in the aftermath if you take the leap and say yes to the "new decision."

However, if you say no, you'll feel relief. And that's where things get tricky. It feels good in the moment but what you're saying 'no' to possibility, to growth. Saying 'yes' to new decisions feels harder but it's so worth it.  I firmly believe we are here to evolve and grow and become more of who we are. Notice I didn't say better. We're already 100% worthy - growth or stagnation doesn't change that fact, but that's for another post.

⁣Making new decisions for ourselves is disorienting and scary, but it's unbelievably exciting, too. If you want to learn to get from where you are to where you want to be, schedule a consultation! It's totally free, fun and great practice at making new decisions for yourself!

“I know what I want to do, but I’m not doing it …”

By Gretta | Jan 26, 2023 | 0 Comments

When you know what you want to do, but you aren’t doing it, you’re waiting to FEEL like doing it.   Waiting to feel motivated. Less tired. More capable. You tell yourself: I have to … I need to … I really should … I could be doing … “… but I really don’t want to.” This is leaving you in Indecision Land. And Indecision Land is exhausting.   My friend, there IS a better way. And it’s really simple. Ready? 1. Decide. Are you doing the thing right now? It’s a yes or no question. 2. If yes, make a plan to do that thing. Plans are explicitly clear, highly specific, limited to 1-3 things, and only include small first steps. 3. If no, quit pestering yourself! Enjoy doing anything else.   Tired of procrastinating? Schedule a free consult here. On that call you’ll learn the REAL reason why you procrastinate & you’ll receive tangible, clear steps to solve for it.

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You don’t need “deep work” to be productive

By Gretta | Jan 21, 2023 | 0 Comments

Here’s my pet peeve with “deep work” / “focus time” First, ADHD. I mean, need I say more. Second, if you think your ability to be successful rests on your ability to do hours of deep, focused work, you’ll be actively delaying your success. And you’re going to feel fucking terrible about yourself. Anything that’s having you tamp down the value you put out – question it. Third, you CAN BE VERY SUCCESSFUL working with distractions, working while your real life is happening, and working in smaller pockets of time.   Fourth, working in smaller pockets of time DOESN’T MEAN you aren’t taking your work/business seriously. FIFTH, working on the fly isn’t inferior to batching your work. You don’t need to “take your business more seriously”. FUN is an “action emotion” being serious (most often!) shuts you down – it’s an “inaction emotion.” If you want to take more action … serious isn’t gonna be your bestie. Someone had to call out this load of perfectionistic nonsense and I’m happy to be the one to do it 😉 The end, happy Saturday!

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Your business, time management & ADHD

By Gretta | Jan 10, 2023 | 0 Comments

Time management & ADHD Over the last year I discovered that I {very likely} have ADHD. I’ve hesitated to share these things in the past because I haven’t formally been diagnosed, but I’m 99.9% I have ADHD and I’ve really found some things that make a big difference in how I’m spending my time. Here’s a little of my backstory: I THRIVED in work environments where I knew exactly what to work on, I knew concretely what to do, it was an area of interest, and those things had due dates. So switching from that, to an environment where no one is telling you what to do and there are no hard and fast due dates … it’s been a learning curve to say the least. While this is still VERY much still a work in progress for me, I wanted to share what I’ve found that really works to help me get things done pretty easily and allows me to actually enjoy my time and what really doesn’t work and has me feeling very frustrated and discouraged.  Here’s what REALLY works for me: 1. Knowing that even if I do “everything right” aka, doing all of the things I’m about to share with you – there will still be times that I experience ADHD moments/symptoms AND I can still run my business well and hit my goals. This … gives me great levels of relief. The goal isn’t perfection. 2. No phone in the morning. And truly, significantly limiting access to my phone. Not only do I experience an increase in ADHD symptoms (lack of desire/motivation, fuzzy brain, general feelings of blah) I also notice a big uptick in anxiety & then low grade depression. 3. Eating breakfast before having coffee. For lots of reasons but primarily reducing stress. 4. Caffeine is my BFF. Caffeine = more mental clarity. 5. Getting dressed and ready is HUGE for me. Makeup on, hair done, dressed and ready with shoes on = a much more focused me. Again, the benefits of this is enhanced significantly when I don’t check my phone. 6. Limiting stress as much as possible. Stress significantly increases my ADHD brain fog. 7. Exercise. Even something as simple as tidying up or putting away laundry is super helpful to getting my brain to a more focused, happy place. Walks are great and so is lifting weights. All of these help tremendously. 8. Flexible scheduling. I do best when I have my client appointments and I know what 1-3 things I need to get done that day. Most of the time, I don’t write those things down. 9. Very loose work hours. Frankly, I don’t have work hours. Sometimes if I notice I’m over-working, I’ll make a conscious effort to stop working by 5-6pm if I’ve already done my work for the day. Also, this one can kind of bite you. Make sure you’re also pre-blocking time off so you actually take a break. I didn’t take a break for 4 years. 0/10 recommend that strategy. 10. Making things super clear and easy. For me, that looks like literally having the same 4-5 business tasks each week for going on 2 years (post 3-4x a week, share in stories, 1 blog, 1 email weekly). And, anything I’m avoiding, just get clear on the first step. Ok, and here’s what DOESN’T work: 1. Strict scheduling. A time-blocked schedule is my actual nightmare. I rebel and resist and feel very mentally and emotionally tired. Hard pass. 2. Forcing myself to sit at my desk and work. See above. 3. Comparing myself to what I assume are my neurotypical peers. I don’t work like they do. I’ve tried really hard to do what they do, it doesn’t work for me and that’s ok. 4. Judging myself when I notice my ADHD symptoms. I’m not yet super great at identifying my symptoms – it’s something I’m working on. 5. Trying to plan out my whole week. Lol. I mean, if there’s a few things I’m motivated to do and I really want to get them done on certain days, super. If not, forcing myself to think and plan like that isn’t gonna work. That’s pretty much it! I’d love to hear from you, especially if you’re also a woman who suspects (or knows) she has ADHD. It can be real mind fuck – especially in entrepreneurship. Especially when you’ve got big goals. AND especially when it’s so easy to compare yourself to other people who seemingly have it all together and can just decide to do something and immediately do it.      

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Creating Capacity (How to stop over-scheduling yourself)

By Gretta | Dec 13, 2022 | 0 Comments

How to stop over-scheduling yourself If work keeps spilling over & you always seem to have way more to get done than you actually have time for, you’re going to want to learn how to set your capacity.    Setting your capacity is just like selecting the right sized bowl when you want to bake a cake.     You would never expect a cake mix to fit inside a cereal bowl and yet you expect yourself to finish 15 hours of work in an 8 hour work day.      You wouldn’t blame the cake mix for not fitting. You wouldn’t think there was something wrong with it. You’d just put it in a bigger bowl!     Same with you and your time. It’s not that you aren’t efficient enough. It’s not that you just can’t focus. It’s not that you need more hours in the day.     You’re just over-promising your time because you aren’t setting your capacity FIRST. That’s it! It’s an easy fix, I promise.   The best time to do start doing this work is right now. Do not wait for a fresh start on Monday. It won’t be any easier then.   First, look at what you’ve already committed yourself to this week.     Is there anything that you really don’t want to do, truly don’t want to make time for, could be done by someone else?   Think outside of the box here. Your knee-jerk answer is going to be NO.   When I do this work with my clients and (gently 😉 ) push them to move past their knee-jerk no and think creatively, 99.9 times out of 100 they see at LEAST one thing that they could move, delegate or eliminate. Usually it’s several things.   Just start with this week for now.      From there, look at your time. How many hours do you already have scheduled? Make a rough estimate, it doesn’t need to be exact.     How many hours is it? & how many hours do you WANT to be working? (In the future, this will be your STARTING point – this is a big part of setting your capacity – right now, we’ve gotta work backwards)   & how much white space is on your calendar? NOT INCLUDING your time off of work. That … does not count.    – A goal I have my clients shoot for is around 25% white space and 75% working space (NOT including lunch).   If you’re nowhere near that number – don’t worry. This is a “work up to” goal, not something you need to implement all at once.    – If you’re over 75%, block off your remaining free time (omg I know, you hate this suggestion. You WILL thank me later. That’s a guarantee.)   – At the end of this week, repeat this process for NEXT week and the following week. It will get easier the farther you go out.   – And from there, the work is saying no to new requests, telling people that you’re at capacity, and/or delegating work out.    Protect that white space in your calendar like it’s your job.   The work I do with my clients is helping them make white space in their calendar so they can work up to 75% (learning how to recognize opportunities that you aren’t seeing now for creating lots more white space – it’s there and I can’t wait to help you see it, too. And once you see it you can’t unsee it.)   Then, we work on HOLDING that white space (learning how saying no to requests confidently) And finally, we work on maintaining that white space until it’s your habit (right now your habit is to overbook yourself – you can create a new habit of giving yourself breathing room each week) When you do these three things you can expect to:   – Confidently take on work projects on because you know for a fact that you can handle it, you know you’ll get it done when you say you’ll get it done because you know you’ll have the space in your day to focus and get it done   – Be more productive while you’re at work. You’ll know exactly where to start, how to stay focused, and you’ll always know what to do next   – Leave work on time AND leave work at work. So you can actually recharge and enjoy your downtime If this sounds like you, I’d love to help. Your next step is to schedule your free consult here.

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“Why Do I Procrastinate?”

By Gretta | Nov 15, 2022 | 0 Comments

Simply put: your brain’s job is to talk you out of doing anything other than seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and conserving energy. If you’re trying to do something that you perceive as challenging, new or requiring effort expect that your brain WILL try to talk you out of it.   This is completely normal. You aren’t lazy and there isn’t anything wrong with you. EVERYONE procrastinates to some degree. It’s just a healthy, normal function of your brain. In order to get into action easily, you’re going to want to know how to make the thing you want to do easy, effortless, and more familiar.   Here’s how: Limit your focus to one thing at a time. Meaning, pick ONE thing that you’ve been avoiding and do this: 1. Picture yourself doing the task, what’s the very first thing you’ll do? 2. Write that first step down and put the rest of your to-do list away (physically and mentally – don’t worry about next steps or anything else on your to-do list) 3. ONLY expect yourself to complete that first step. When you’re done, give yourself permission to stop. That’s it! You can repeat as often as needed until the list of things you’ve been procrastinating on is done.   Remember: the key to overcoming procrastination is to make starting easy. P.S. Ready to take this work deeper and learn how to manage your time easily?  Schedule your free consult here.

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How to Be More Consistent

By Gretta | Nov 8, 2022 | 0 Comments

There are 4 stages to being consistent: Possibility, Excitement, Commitment, Habitual Possibility: You think about doing something new, you dream of what your life will look like when you’re doing those things, you buy planners, and you make a plan and maybe a vision board. Excitement: It’s day 1! You’re doing the thing! You’re really doing it! Commitment: It’s boring but you’re in. It’s hard, but you’re doing it. You don’t want to, but you show up anyway. You’re committed but not forcing yourself. This is consistency. Habit: You’ve done it. It’s just easy, automatic part of your day. That doesn’t mean that you always want to, but you do the thing.   The shift from possibility to excitement (and doing the thing) can happen in seconds.   The shift from excitement to commitment usually needs to happen around day 4. If you don’t settle into commitment and instead rely on willpower, you’ll quit.   When you’re stuck in possibility, it looks like: – Deciding you’ll start fresh tomorrow (or maybe next week …) – Feeling like you aren’t really sure what to do. You want to take that step but you don’t really know what step to take. That vision seems too far away so you do something like write a gratitude list.   When you’re stuck in excitement (or typically, wondering where your excitement went), it looks like: – Thinking it’s too hard, you can’t do it, and believing something has gone wrong – Forcing yourself to take action anyway by using will power   If you don’t know how to shift into commitment, this is where you’ll quit.   It takes at least 45 days at a minimum and up to 254 days to shift into that commitment into a habit.   You cannot willpower yourself for 45 days, much less 254 days. You cannot willpower your way to a lasting and enjoyable habit. You have to learn how to work with commitment to be consistent. And you have to learn how to work with commitment to get to the habitual phase. This is what I help my clients do. If you’d like help with creating commitment so you can create consistency, schedule a consult here.

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How to do that thing you keep putting off

By Gretta | Nov 1, 2022 | 0 Comments

This is going to be short and sweet so you can hop into action ASAP (that’s what I’m here to help you do).  You know that thing that you’ve been putting off? I’m going to help you move the needle on it, today. You ready? What’s that thing that feels like it’s been hanging over your head?     Now that you have it in mind, if you had to guess, what’s the very first thing you would need to do in order to get started on it? Do that thing right now.  OR  If you absolutely can’t do it right now, I want you to decide when you’ll have it done by today. And write it down. You will want to tell yourself it isn’t enough. That it doesn’t matter. That you can do it later. Or that you don’t know. No. This is how you become someone who always follows through. Decide, even if you don’t think it’s right. Try it out and see.  Action = clarity Everything you want in life is completed one seemingly small, insignificant step at a time.        

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Sticking to your time boundaries

By Gretta | Oct 25, 2022 | 0 Comments

Ending work on time (both physically working AND thinking about work) is one of the most important things you can learn how to do. Learning how to stick to your physical and mental work boundaries will have you feeling rested and relaxed and enjoying your life. When you don’t do this, you will feel frantic, worried, and you will end up burning out, needing a break, or wanting to quit your job/business. The four biggest reasons I see for NOT sticking to your time boundaries are: 1. Doubting that you’ve done enough so you keep doing more and more and more – way beyond what you’ve planned to do for the day. This stems from a lack of self-trust. You don’t trust that your decisions are the right one so you overcompensate with overworking. Your work is to stick to your plan, even when it’s uncomfortable and you have a million good reasons why you need to keep working. 2. Not wanting to upset someone else. This looks like saying yes and taking work on when you don’t actually have the capacity. Or staying in meetings longer than you’re supposed to because you’re worried what people will think if you leave. The ONLY people that will be upset with you uphold these time boundaries are people that struggle with boundaries themselves. Your work is to say no and let other people be wrong about you. 3. Sloppy work habits. This looks like procrastinating. Not having a clear plan. Avoiding your plan in lieu of others’ needs. Feeling frantic so you stop and start a million different tasks. Being really responsive to other people but neglecting yourself. Sloppy work habits most often come from one of three places: not planning well, people pleasing, or not knowing what to do. Your work is to learn how to plan well, including deciding ahead of time what you will be responsive to and what you’ll save for a later time and focusing on what you DO know. 4. Not planning your day realistically.  You’re over-stuffing your day and trying to overcome your fear of, “I have too much to do and not enough time,” with fantasy planning. When you plan too many things, you’ll get less done than if you take the time to plan strategically and get the most important things done. You’ll end up feeling busy and reactive instead of calm and productive. This is you if you’re terrified to slow down and think you for sure don’t have time to plan. Your work is feel the discomfort of slowing down and taking the time to look at your day and responsibilities and plan realistically. Which one sounds most like you? What are your biggest takeaways from this post? Tell me in the comments! See you next week, Gretta If you loved this and want to take this work deeper click here to schedule a free consult

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When you haven’t gotten anything done

By Gretta | Oct 18, 2022 | 0 Comments

Didn’t get anything done today? If you want to start doing more, stop telling yourself that you didn’t get anything done. Criticizing yourself to take new action rarely works; it only ends up creating mind clutter. And mind clutter, much like clutter in your house, creates more overwhelm and more stress. If you want to get more done, clean up the clutter by focusing on what you DID do and what ELSE you want to do. When you focus on what you DID do and identify what else you want to do, you’re working from a net positive instead of trying to dig yourself out of a hole. This is what I teach my clients how to do. It’s a skill you learn, not something that will happen by accident. When you know how to move out of focusing on all the ways you’re falling short, and into focusing on everything you’re doing well, it gets so much easier to get everything done. This is what I teach my clients how to do. And I can teach you, too. Click here to schedule a free consult to see exactly how this would work for you.    

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How to stop feeling behind

By Gretta | Oct 11, 2022 | 0 Comments

I’m so behind. How often do you feel this way? When you’re feeling behind, you’ll frantically spend your day rushing around, trying to playing catch up (sometimes just in your head, not even doing actual work). You’ll get annoyed with interruptions – you have no time for that. By the end of the day, you’re somehow not even caught up. In fact, your list feels longer. You have no idea how you even spent your time. You just know that you felt really busy but you didn’t seem to make any actual progress.   Feeling behind is not caused by the things on your to-do list. It’s caused by the decisions you’re making – specifically how you’re making them.   When you make decisions from lack, you only create more lack. In order to start getting ahead you have to do the very last thing you want to do: slow. down. Get calm. & then prioritize. You cannot out work feeling behind.   When you know how to do these things, you’ll feel prepared and ready for the day. You’ll work calmly and efficiently and, at the end of the day, you’ll know you’ve done enough. If this is you, and you’re ready to stop feeing behind, and do things a different way because you know the way you’re doing it right now isn’t working, schedule a free consult here.    

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