What is it that you want the most?
More money? A different career? More time? More happiness? To feel like yourself again? To have motivation to accomplish all of your goals?
The only reason you don't have it now is because there is some part of that vision or goal or dream that you don't believe in or believe is possible for you. The trick to getting what you want is:
- Discovering what you want most - the more specific, the better.
- What amount of money would be amazing to make?
- How do you want to feel, every single day?
- What would you do if no one would judge you for your choice?
- What would you spend your time doing if you had all the time and money in the world and no other responsibilities?
- What do you do that makes time seem to disappear?
- What do you do that makes time screech to a halt? (This is a good indicator of things you're doing that AREN'T your purpose/highest self/using your strengths.)
- What feels easy for you?
- What feels hard? (Often times we can figure out what TO DO when we know what we don't enjoy doing.)
- Uncovering where you're in disbelief. Here are some questions and statements that can help illuminate where you're not believing:
- How is your goal not realistic?
- Why is it impossible?
- In what ways is it too hard?
- Where are you not believing you can accomplish it?
- What is standing in between you and your goal?
- If only I had , then I could .
- If not for , then I would .
- The reason you don't have what you want is because you are believing everything you put down as answers to the questions and statements above, to be true. To be clear: it's NOT the external things like kids, time, or money. It's the way you're thinking about those external things. For example, you think your kids are the reason you can't do what you want to do. It's not your kids, it's because you THINK your kids are a barrier to doing what you want to do. Or, you need more money before you do what it is you want to do. It's not money, it's that you THINK you need more money. You accept those as true; as things that are fixed and unchangeable and actual roadblocks.
These are your limiting beliefs. A belief is simply a thought you decided the believe as truth. Often times these are formed when we're kids. We learn these things from our parents, either directly from something they said, or indirectly by things we pieced together.
When we accept them as true, we DON'T question them. And questioning them is exactly what gets us un-stuck. For example: How could I get what I want and take care of my kids? How could I use being a mom to fuel my purpose? How could it be best for my kids to pursue my purpose? How might I show up for them differently if I went after my biggest dreams? How could I come up with the money? How could I create more money? What money do I already have right now?
Those are just a few examples of questions to ask yourself. Insert any limitation into those questions and see what you come up. Why?
Because, in order to get a result that is different from what you've created before, you have to think a different set of thoughts. In order to do that, you have to first uncover, then question and finally dissolve your old thoughts and beliefs. Trying to put a new thought on top of an old belief doesn't work. It's why mantras rarely make us feel better and why they don't seem to stick. You've practiced your beliefs for a long time. You've got lots of evidence for them. They're like a 50 year old oak tree and your new thought is a seed. Which one provides more shade? The oak tree, of course. In our brain the shade is comfort. Our brain wants to think what is COMFORTABLE. Just because it's comfortable, doesn't make it true. You've simply decided that it's true.
There is no truth that exists outside of us. It's all just what we decide is true and then we go find evidence for that "truth" because our brains like to be right. We decide what's right based on what we keep believing. Our brains do this because there's so much stimuli in the world, our brains have to filter it or we couldn't function. Our beliefs are our filters. Our filters keep collecting evidence to prove that our current beliefs are right and our filters are what create our results.
If this sounds a little out there, you're in good company it's a little mind-bendy at first. Let me give you an example that's more concrete. You know just after you buy a car you see it EVERYWHERE?You've been so focused on that particular car in that particular color during the buying process it's what you've trained your brain to look for and see.
If you're feeling confused or skeptical, try this on for size:
- How could I be wrong about .
- How could the opposite be true?
- Pick anything. A color. Visualize it for a minute. Now, look around. What are you noticing? Do you feel your eyes scanning for that color? This is how any thought works, the goal is train our brains to find evidence for what we WANT to create.
If you're STILL on the fence, you certainly don't have to accept what I'm saying as truth, either! You can keep all of your thoughts that you're thinking now. But when you do, you keep all of your current results. You can't keep thinking the same things and get different results. It's impossible.
Do you want help uncovering your limiting beliefs? Do you want to learn how to train your brain to create what you want in life? If you want to, you can. Let's talk!