Goal Constraint


Aka, one goal at a time.

Tell me if this sounds familiar. You have so many things you want to do/improve/change. All at once. And preferably in the next 3 weeks. We have these big ideas of what our ideal lives would look like and we start to think of all the areas we want to change. Except, instead of taking concrete action in any one direction, we just get stuck in the wanting and dreaming and real life takes over. Before we know it, 6 months, 1 year goes by and we're in the same place, making the same money, in the same job, in the same life. Even if we start to take a little action towards some of the goals it quickly becomes overwhelming because the path is not clear. At all. We have no idea what the next steps are so we stop. I have beeeeen there.

So what's happening here? First, we keep ourselves in overwhelm and confusion because we have these big, vague ideas of what "better" would be, or if it's not vague, we have 75 clear areas we'd like to improve upon. Our brains look at the 75 areas or the big, vague idea and immediately say: Nope. Too hard. Looks way complicated. Pass. Remember the motivational triad? Our brains want to seek pleasure, avoid pain and expend as little energy as possible. Our brains freak out when we set one goal because goals are often not pleasurable in the beginning, are often painful and require lots of effort. If that's what our brains do when approached with one goal, you imagine what they do when they see a ton of goals or one, giant, fuzzy goal. Shut down city.

What's the solution? Set one goal. I know, I know. It doesn't feel like enough. You want to do all the things at once, you can handle it. I hear you. You're me 1 year ago. I know you want to set all the goals, but how has that worked for you so far? If you're here reading this, I'm going to guess it hasn't. It doesn't mean you let go of the other areas forever. Write them down, shelve them for now. We will work on them next! After you tackle your first goal. And, if you're really freaked out, just know: your progress in one area will improve your progress in all areas. So even though you're not working on it directly, it will still improve the other areas of your life. I promise you this.

What do I do with my one goal? I'll give you the outline in bold and then we'll go piece by piece into the details.

1. Decide what you are committed to accomplishing in this one area in 30 days and write a measurable goal. It should be clear and provable in a court of law. For example, 20 weight lifting workouts, with a minimum of 3 sets of 10 reps, in 30 days. Or lose 5 pounds/weigh x amount. Or write a meal plan for 3 meals per day, 24 hours in advance and eat only what's on that meal plan for 30 days. Or make x number of dollars. Or pitch x number of brands. Or 3 hours of screen time per day. You get the idea.

2. Brainstorm all of the ways you're going to accomplish this one goal. For weight loss, it would be following a meal plan or using My Fitness Pal. If it's making money, how many clients are you going to pitch? How many offers are you going to make? How many social media posts? If it's workouts, decide what kind of workouts you want to do (follow a plan, weight lifting, running only, yoga and Pilates). For some goals like weight loss or making money, your brainstorm list might be longer than say a working out goal or a screen time goal. Here's my caveat. Do NOT go wild here. It should be maybe 2-3 action items, max. I think the money-making goal is one of the only areas where I think having 2-3 action items is necessary. For weight loss, pick eating or working out. I don't recommend both if they're both new to you. At least not as a goal area.

3. Put it in your calendar. It doesn't matter if it's a digital calendar like Google Calendar (what I use), or a paper calendar. Pick one and use it for the whole 30 days. Schedule in your new activity - whether it's workouts, when you'll eat, when you'll pitch brands. When you'll be on your phone. Schedule it in. This step is so, so crucial. AND it sets you up for major success when setting future goals. My strong recommendation is to have an action item for each of the 30 days. So if your plan is a workout plan, have some form of exercise each day - even if it's just a walk or gentle yoga. The more frequently you do it, the faster it becomes easier to follow through. If it's making money, at least one action item each day, if not 2.

4. Follow your calendar. NO MATTER WHAT. Even when you don't want to. Especially when you don't want to. If you can learn the skills of following a calendar and doing the hard, new thing when you don't want to, you will be unstoppable at reaching your goals. Truly. Just know that when you calendar tells you to do the new thing, you're not going to want to do it. Plan on it. Count on it. Nothing has gone wrong. You have a normal human brain that is trying very hard to keep you safe. It wants you to keep doing the same things it's always done because to your brain, that's what's known and safe.

4. Track it. I'm personally a big fan of drawing 30 little boxes with dates next to them, and highlighting the box after I complete the task. It's a visual representation of our progress and our brains love it. As the days go by and those boxes fill up, the more motivating it becomes to keep going. You can do this however you want, but track your completion of the task(s) in some way!

That's it. It really is that simple.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by this process or simply want help with setting your 30 day goal, please book a free consultation! This is the work I LOVE to do and I'm more than happy to help you! The consultation is absolutely free. I will take you step by step through this process and you'll be completely set up for your 30 day goal by the end of the call.



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