What are indulgent emotions?
Indulgent emotions are non-productive emotions: self-pity, self-doubt, worry, vicimization, overwhelm, and confusion. They sound like:
- I have too much to do.
- I don't know.
- It's so hard for me.
- It isn't fair.
- I don't get it.
- I'm so confused.
- I don't even know where to start.
- What if ...
- I can't keep track of everything.
- It's someone else's fault that I'm feeling this way/doing this thing.
These thoughts are indulgent emotion producing thoughts. Much like eating a bag of chips feels productive but doesn't fuel you or fill you up, thinking indulgent thoughts and feeling indulgent emotions feels productive but doesn't actually get you anywhere.
Unlike positive and negative emotions, where the goal is to feel them and let them pass through. The objective with indulgent emotions is to recognize when you're indulging and stop. How do we do this? Awareness.
- Notice when you're feeling an indulgent emotion and ask yourself what you're thinking.
- Write everything down.
- Now you have your list of thoughts to be on the lookout for. The goal is to catch yourself thinking them or catch yourself when you're already in the indulgent emotion.
- Often times this will be after the fact once you start. And then you'll start catching yourself in the moment. And then you'll catch yourself a few minutes into the indulgent spiral. Then you'll catch yourself right before you head down the spiral. It takes practice and awareness.
If you want help with this process or want to learn more about managing your mind, schedule a free consultation! Making the decision to move forward with coaching is the very first step in creating positive, lasting change in your life.