How to make decisions for the future you want
Why is it so hard to make decisions for ourselves that we’ve never made before? These are decisions that I would classify as "new decisions."
These can be anything from deciding to start exercising when you’ve never lifted weights in your adult life, deciding to use a calendar when you’ve never planned out a day in your life, or even deciding to follow a budget even though you don’t have a clue where to start. Or, investing in that course or that coach. All of these decisions feel really daunting and our immediate reaction is to say 'no.' Why?
We make decisions and we decide what’s right and what’s wrong. What’s “right” or “wrong” is based off of our belief systems from the past. Our brain looks to our past results to see what’s possible for us in the future. If it's something we've never done our brain clams up and says no. way. Not possible. Never done it before. Not interested! But why?
Our brain doesn’t like to create new thinking because new thinking, according to our lower brain, is hard and dangerous. Our lower brain really likes to be efficient. Thinking the same thoughts = efficient. A great example of this is: think back to a time you started a new job or took a class in school that was really challenging. You were probably very focused, grasping to make sense of things and at the end of the day - very tired. That’s because it requires new thinking.
When you go to make a new decision - ESPECIALLY one that you’ve never made before AND it involves money, time, effort and adopting a new identity, your lower brain is like lol no. This is definitely not a good decision. But the other part of your brain - the higher level, conscious brain that is thinking in possibility is saying YES.
Here’s where the pain comes in. In order to get new results you have to think new thoughts and make decisions from possibility, not from your past. Meaning you literally have to override your lower brain’s very well-worn way of thinking with your conscious brain to get to the new decision. Your lower brain will be telling you NO WAY. The whole time while you're considering your new decision AND in the aftermath if you take the leap and say yes to the "new decision."
However, if you say no, you'll feel relief. And that's where things get tricky. It feels good in the moment but what you're saying 'no' to possibility, to growth. Saying 'yes' to new decisions feels harder but it's so worth it. I firmly believe we are here to evolve and grow and become more of who we are. Notice I didn't say better. We're already 100% worthy - growth or stagnation doesn't change that fact, but that's for another post.
Making new decisions for ourselves is disorienting and scary, but it's unbelievably exciting, too. If you want to learn to get from where you are to where you want to be, schedule a consultation! It's totally free, fun and great practice at making new decisions for yourself!
For this post, I’m mostly going to speak about negative self-judgement. By negative self-judgement, I’m referring to the thoughts you have about yourself compared to the expectations you have for yourself, and making that mean something negative about yourself as a person. As a highly ambitious perfectionist and people pleaser, I experience self-judgement on the…
Read More
Building self-trust Think about your life right now. What results do you have right now that you’re thankful to your past self for creating? What results do you want to start creating right now for your future self? When deciding to work towards a new goal, or pick up a new habit, it can be…
Read More
and goal setting. They go hand in hand. If you’ve ever tried to implement structure into your life, or tried to make a big change, you likely know resistance well. In this context, it’s the pushing away or pushing against a new, self-created idea or plan. For example, you decide you want to start working…
Read More
A new series. I want to start sharing how coaching is transforming my life and I want to do this real time so I can take you all along for the ride. I’ll let you know the history, why I want to change, what I’ve tried in the past to solve for this, where I…
Read More
… and what can it do for me? If you have a goal, or even a vague idea that there’s something more out there for you, you need a coach. Why? Because once you’ve fully committed to growth, your success is inevitable. The only question is: how are you going to get there? Are you…
Read More
I’ve got the best and worst news: you can’t. I want to preface this by saying, what spured the idea for this post was seeing women comment on pages with large followings telling them, “You should speak up.” Now, have I personally spoken up? Yes. Have I told others to speak up? No. Why? Read…
Read More
It’s not going to be easier and you’re not going to have more motivation, inspiration, conviction, or willingness tomorrow. Start now. This is a follow-up post to yesterday’s topic and it’s the action I took 20 minutes ago that lead me to writing this now. No surprise, yesterday’s skid, as I’ll call it, slid right…
Read More
When you let yourself down. I experienced this today and I was completely caught off guard because it felt like it came on in an instant. That’s not what actually happened – I know the thought that caused it but when I was in the thick of it, it felt sudden. Instead of just noticing…
Read More
If you want to feel better and take your power back, start with this exercise. If I could only give you one exercise to do, this would be it. I alluded to it here, but now I want to give you the specifics of how to complete an exercise called the thought download. Step one:…
Read More
Consumption can keep you stuck. Reading self-help books, taking courses, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, and watching videos. These activities get you closer to your goal, right? Well, it depends. What are you doing to apply that new information? Taking notes and learning aren’t enough to move the needle. The illusion of progress by consumption…
Read More